The Science and Soul of Bi-Dimensional Disorder

By on November 17, 2010

“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience.  We are spiritual beings having a human experience” -Teilhard de Chardin
The link between creativity and insanity, specifically Bipolar Disorder, has been well documented, but never fully understood.  There’s a long list of exceptional people who have struggled with this unexpectedly altered reality, from Ernest Hemingway to Abraham Lincoln and Kirk Cobain. This mental disorder, often like an accidental waking dream, for perhaps not so mysterious reasons has been exponentially increasing in our society since WW II. Scientists currently believe the affliction is genetically based and the result of a chemical imbalance in the brain.

It’s been known for eons that “it takes a village to raise a child”.  I sense that the social support disintegration caused by an increasingly nomadic and “multi-tasked” culture plays a key factor in our societies mental malfunctioning. The Nuclear Family experiment is revealing some disturbing data.


Perhaps, as a species we simply need to collectively regroup and this epidemic will disappear. It’s critical to remember that we’re still hunter/gatherers on the inside that evolved in small supportive communities.   It’s time to design and build a new world ”re-order” that’s conscious instead of crazy.  This is now possible thanks to technological advancements that have blossomed in the past 20 years. Operators are standing by.
Emerging research in the field of Epigenetics has discovered that possessing the gene for something, be it hair color or a chemical balance, doesn’t determine if it will be expressed. Environmental factors play a critical role.  It’s as if a DNA circuit breaker needs to be switched “on” or “off” by an external force.

European medical researchers have also revealed through blood analysis that the bipolar brain is deficient in a key neurotransmitter.  It was then determined that this critical synaptic fluid can be supplied through the oral daily intake of 2 amino acid-like compounds; DL-Phenylalanine and Phosphotidyl Choline.

“Just ask your doctor” won’t likely help you access this information, as most psychiatrists know nothing of this new treatment for bipolar disorder.  Jackson, WY based acupuncturist and biochemist, Kevin Meehan of Teton Valley Health Clinic, was how I learned of this new, non-toxic alternative treatment to lithium. His help has been critical to my health.

According to Kevin, “Phosphatidylcholine’s role in the maintenance of cell-membrane integrity is vital to all of the basic biological processes. A decrease in the cell-membrane fluidization and the breakdown of the cell-membrane integrity are associated with mental and neurological diseases.  Significant lower levels of phenylethylamine, the metabolic end product of phenylalanine have also been found in the urine of those who suffer from depression and bi-polar disorders.”

The multinational pharmaceutical corporations that are the supposed experts in this field are only interested in patentable and therefore profitable formulas. Natural occurring compounds are ignored. Greed, once again, interferes with a doctor’s ability to effectively help their patients.  These are sick and twisted times.

Gratefully, we are at a place where suppressed wisdom can be shared at light speeds through the internet.  It’s only a matter of time before a new generation of conscious capitalism driven socialized health care emerges.  It’s no longer possible to make the necessary changes through government channels that are hijacked by corporate interests.  All we need to do is connect the right dots and we’ll gracefully shift from a competitive to a cooperative world.  A high-tech tribe is emerging.  It’s time for We The People to eliminate the needless suffering imposed by our current, primitive and profit driven health care system.  I am ready when you are.
Break on through…

Not only is information regarding the tangible biochemical elements of bipolar disorder being suppressed, but also the equally important yet seemingly intangible spiritual dimension.  Like the classic sci-fi film, The Matrix, we’ve all been born into a fabricated reality created long ago by soul-less, ego driven, “machines”.  The prevailing cultural construct is that our time here is limited to one lifetime.  One must obey certain moral codes in order to spend all eternity in Heaven vs. Hell.  Spiritual development has instead been transformed into a form of domestication.

The sense that we are spiritual beings, returning in human form over and over, has been widely rejected by western medicine and theology.  No “seat of the soul” was ever located in the human body, so logically it was assumed that it didn’t exist.

We now also know that the Bible was heavily edited for political purposes.  20 books were omitted and an original copy of the Book of Judas discovered in 1970 inside an Egyptian cave reveals an entirely different character then current versions.  The stories are almost complete opposites.

The disturbing expression of hypocrisy within organized Christianity is staggering, from Ted Haggart to the 4500 confirmed pedophile priest accusations between 1950 and 2007.  Meanwhile, rural evangelical radio stations continue to promote a fear-based theology geared towards a naive under educated populace.  Parts of the S.E., based on my explorations, have now become the “brainwash belt”. Zombie movies are actually a metaphor of what’s already unfolding, minus the eating of brains.

Eastern cultures that embrace the discipline of meditation practice, however, have dropped in and tuned on to the etheric interplay of mind, body and soul. This awareness is sprouting quickly in the USA as well.  Instead of following in the footsteps of our oblivious elders we’re instead reexamining and interweaving timeless spiritual truths. Many refer to this time as the “Great Awakening”.  We’re approaching a critical mass of illuminated individuals.  Change is inevitable. Hope is not lost.
Down the Rabbit Hole

My personal experiences with Bipolar Disorder have been rather intense.  It’s led to being arrested twice, nearly beaten to death by aggravated prison guards in a western Virginian jail, and 4 stints regrouping in various psychiatric wards as if waking from a bad dream that actually happened.  Did I really start a bonfire in the front yard?

The side effects of taking Lithium has also induced the degeneration of connective tissue in my wrists and painful bone spurs in hip sockets which required a major surgery about 2 years ago.  It’s important to note that how Lithium works as a “mood stabilizer” has never been fully understood.  It was essentially discovered by accident.

Another common pharmaceutical used to treat bipolar disorder, Abilify, claims on it’s website “The exact way Abilify (or any other medication for Bipolar Disorder) works is unknown.”  Doctors are essentially gamblers in their approach to mental health care.  Far too often the patient is the one who loses.
In sharing my otherworldly bipolar experiences with friends, the statement “that sounds like a bad acid trip” occurred on multiple occasions.  It would seem plausible that as the brain falters in essential neurotransmitters one’s reality would cascade into altered states.  The effect does creep up on you as if you’ve been mischievously “dosed” by a friend.  Unfortunately, the “long strange trip” tends to trail off to jail and a psych ward before coming down.

Traditionally it seems, most bipolar “meltdowns” are swept under the rug and ignored.  There’s unfortunately a stigma associated with insanity.  I find that other bipolar people are often quite frightened to examine their other worldly experiences.  Introspective analysis inspired by dream analysis is necessary for understanding and healing to unfold.  It requires a great deal of energy and anxiety to keep skeletons locked in a mental closet.  Getting to know “them” is healthier over the long term.  They’ll sneak out eventually anyway, usually at an undesirable time.

Often these strange sagas, however, have rather comical elements.  I once tried to “borrow” a car while wearing nothing but a clear plastic bubble wrap cape, a yellow plastic shopping bag for a hat and a pair of trail running sneakers.  It seemed completely reasonable at the time since the keys were left in the ignition. Being able to laugh at oneself is a positive sign that healing is happening.

My mental “mis-adventures” were far too illuminating to be repressed.  The barriers to the memories of my past lives were lifted and swirled together like water. I was no longer just a white guy from the bland suburbs of Schenectady, but a surprisingly old spiritual being with a propensity for being Asian.

During my altered states, imagery and sensations from prior lifetimes became accessible and would surface in waves.  Apparently, one’s life flashes before you like a film right before you die.  I had a metaphysical remote control and was able to review that footage from my past and how it wove itself across this planet and beyond.

If I paused and stared at my hand, all the other hands that I’ve had would morphically appear like an overlapping and cascading holograph.  It was a wonderfully wild “trip” indeed. Teilhard de Chardin was right, we are only now understanding this, but apparently this lesson needs to be learned the hard way.  Let’s hope we can break malfunctioning cycles in our society and effectively engage an upward spiral of spiritual evolution.
…to the Other Side

The prevailing perceptions of the mind are based on a premise that the brain is like a computer stored inside your skull.  This metaphor applies in some ways, but it seems that the bipolar brain, unsuspecting to it’s “user”, operates more like a RAM’d up laptop with a high powered mobile wifi connection to the Other Side.  “Bi-dimensional Disorder” is a more accurate term to describe the affliction.

What is often viewed as a curse can, however, be transformed into a blessing. This process inevitably requires some form of therapeutic psychotherapy.  It’s important to map out one’s life and understand the elements that triggered the depressive or manic episode.  There’s often a logical catalyst, usually one that induces great stress, that indicates the method that lead to madness. Balance can be achieved.  Only courage is required.
I sense that connecting to this “other” realm fuels the heightened creativity associated with Bipolar Disorder. Insanity occurs when this cosmic circuitry overloads the individual.  Living in the waking dream or nightmare state of a manic mind often involves the inability to sleep for days at a time.  This causes problems.  Like Icarus flying too close to the sun, you can get fried and fall.  It would make sense for law enforcement to carry a tranquilizer dart gun to gracefully subdue a bipolar power blow out.  These incidents are unfortunately becoming more common and often with dire consequences.
“The human soul needs beauty more than bread.” -D.H. Lawrence

Contemporary Western culture has failed to recognize our true nature.  We’ve been conditioned into believing that Heaven or Hell occurs in an afterlife setting when in reality it’s here and now.  The choice is up to us.  A quick perusal of any major newspaper headlines, with epic oil spills and corporately crafted wars, clearly reveals that we find ourselves in a Luciferian realm. It’s this lack of understanding that triggers the “tug of war” between mind and soul.

The ancient being inside us knows that current conditions are not conducive to our health and transformation is necessary. Rattling the cage of one’s mind is unfortunately the only way to wake it up, but this is not a concept understood by psychiatrists.  Becoming conscious of the inner elements of being human is a task we all face in some way during these transitional times.

The integration of reincarnation into the psychotherapeutic arena is also necessary in the unfolding future of mental health care.  This is already happening in the fields of hypnotherapy.  The book Many Masters Many Lives is recommended reading on this subject.

The story of James Leininger, portrayed in the novel Soul Survivor: The Reincarnation of a World War II Fighter Pilot is another example of Eastern awareness emerging in modern America.  When a 2 year old boy describes in detail being shot down by a Japanese pilot during a dog fight it’s clearly an indication that lives carry on and on.  Somehow, we’re only now slowly coming to terms with this timeless truth.  It’s like living under water and suddenly bobbing to the surface of a new reality.  It’s time we swim to shore.

The manic episodes of the bipolar experience are when one’s old soul literally hijacks the driver’s seat of consciousness.  This is consistently catalyzed by stress and feelings of desperation, but perhaps also a need for the soul to be finally acknowledged by a spiritually naive mind.
Depression is the result of the soul leaving the body in frustration for not being heard.  The shamanic practice of “soul retrieval”, originally being witnessed in indigenous cultures all over the world as a means to remedy this imbalance, is now being explored in contemporary healing ceremonies.  We’re now realizing that alignment with our inner being is the key to mental stability.  Intuition must always be trusted or problems inevitably arise.

It’s necessary that we begin to interweave these spiritual elements into therapeutic treatment for true healing to occur.  Larger scale testing of DL-Phenylalanine and Phosphotidyl Choline are also clearly needed so that this new, affordable and non-toxic treatment for bi-polar disorder can be effectively shared with the psychiatric community.  According to Kevin Meehan, “Multiple studies indicate the role for DL-Phenylalanine in the treatment of bi-polar disorders”, but unfortunately this information has yet to make it into mainstream medicine.
Mental health facilities of the future also need to have resident shamans alongside psychiatrists and psychologists to better address the spiritual issues at play.  “3rd eye” perception can’t readily be taught to health care workers stuck in a mechanistic modality dictated by pharmaceutical companies.  Access to fresh air and gurgling water will also be necessary for its therapeutic benefits. A cold “cuckoos nest” is no place to heal.  We can do better.

The practice of regular meditation also shows great promise as a means of rebooting the brain to transcend one’s genetics.  I’ve dedicated the past 2 years to this research with promising results. The recent scientific discovery of our mind’s evolving neuroplastic nature encourages this inquiry.  It would be logical to use biofeedback monitors in future studies to gauge this development over time.  I suspect that bipolar disorder is non-existent amongst disciplined meditators like Buddhist monks.  Instead of relying on popping pills with potentially harmful side effects, why not invigorate the brain through a free mindful discipline?

In our “time is money” world, it would seem that the increased synchronicities and expanded awareness that meditation also induces would inevitably lead to an increase in cash flow.  This incentive may be the only way to encourage modern Americans to start a meditation practice.  A balanced life is the key to prosperity. One’s mind is the foundation upon which life is created or destroyed.

As our culture reconnects to its roots and evolves accordingly, the bipolar disorder epidemic will fade away.  This shift will take time, but we are in an age of accelerating change fueled by an increasingly wired and “wifi’d” world.  The awakening process has begun and is engulfing this world with love.  Many feel and see this happening, despite the darkness infecting our world.  A creative and collaborative dance is unfolding upon this planet we all call Home.  Please fasten your seat belts. We’re in for a wild, yet wonderful ride.

For a more detailed documentation of my bipolar experiences written by Andrew Wyatt please visit:

Spiral: Lose Mind, Find Soul

Photos provided by Andrew Wyatt

About Joshua Doolittle

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