PROPS & DISSES: 3.5.14

By on March 4, 2014
Jackson SPET
Jackson SPET

Jackson SPET

This is the SPET cycle that all capital projects to be included on the August 19 ballot will be hogged by the town and county. The result is a predictable yawner of a wish list. At Monday’s joint information meeting electeds finalized $11 million worth of unglamorous projects including sidewalk maintenance and storm water collection. Whoopee.

The dirty half-dozen includes a South Park Loop pathway from 3 Creek Ranch to Melody Ranch ($3.5M), replacement of the Fair Exhibition Hall ($1.5M), Master Plan Downtown Jackson Storm Water Collection and Conveyance System Improvements ($250k), Jackson Complete Streets, sidewalks, etc ($2.25M), North Cache pedestrian streetscape improvements ($1M), and Fire/EMS station improvements ($2.5M).

Anything to do with streets and storm water is so unsexy it will never pass. Besides, the town has been banking interest on SPET money socked away for sidewalks for at least eight years by not actually pouring all the cement taxpayers paid for. And storm sewers? Save them for a rainy day.

“Streetscape” is a made up public works word meaning improvement to city streets not having anything to do with patching potholes. No amount of public art and pretty shrubbery is going to hypnotize motorists into ignoring the fact that they just bent a tie rod clear out of whack. Besides, ejected hubcaps could pass for street side art projects.

Pathways will get its usual free pass, and most residents fear their house burning down enough that they are happy to eat themselves sick at a chicken fry, chug beer at the rodeo grounds, or fork over a penny tax to buy a new tanker or two for volunteer firemen.

The Fair Exhibition Hall will be an interesting one to watch. It’s one of the most utilized commercial kitchens in the valley. The tin shack is impossible to heat and is likely older than Belle Flanders herself.

Hoback Sports:Corporate takeover – DISS
The absorption of Hoback Sports by valley giant Jackson Hole Mountain Resort can only be bad.

Hernando Pardo’s ski/bike shop has cemented a loyal following since moving into the Staples Plaza. “H” has owned the shop for half of its 40 years in existence. It will now be added as another bauble to the slew of retail outlets gobbled up by JHMR.

The deal makes sense for the resort now that it is getting more involved with downhill biking in order to expand the season. But an in-town ski shop under the JHMR flag may deny any existence of Targhee or Snow King to out-of-town skiers looking for a tune, goggles, or good advice on where to find powder or alpine activities.

Happy hours in Idaho – DISS
On March 9, everyone in Wyoming and Idaho will join most of the rest of the nation, excusing Hawaii and Arizona, in turning our clocks ahead an hour in observance of Daylight Savings Time. Unless, of course, Rep. Mike Moyle gets his way.

Moyle’s House Bill 559 would do away with DST in the Gem State. The mere idea of crossing an hour’s difference timeline for the average Victor-Jackson commuter is mind-boggling. If passed, a sheetrock hanger in Victor would have to leave their house at 6 a.m. to be at their job in Jackson at 8 a.m. That’s rough.

The payoff is getting an extra hour of happy hour at the Knotty on the way home from work.

Square Top tags rock – PROPS
It will be sad to see the Tetons go but ol’ Square Top will help soften the blow.

The Teton-backed Wyoming plate, recently voted best looking license plate by a poll, will give way to a new style in two years. The new tag was unveiled recently. It features the striking Square Top Mountain outside of Pinedale.

The plate design changes background every eight years. The Tetons took over in 2008, supplanting Devil’s Tower.

About Jake Nichols

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