By on October 21, 2014

DISSTongueAdam and Eve, not Adam and Steve 

Same-sex marriage is incorrect. On every level.

A same-sex marriage does not produce offspring. Not that baby making is the sole definition or purpose of marriage, but the Creator’s intent was a monogamous relationship that populated the world. There would be no Lilly for Cameron and Mitchell if not for a heterosexual relationship (ideally, a marriage) somewhere upstream. Want to remove religious overtones? Fine, a union of two pee-pees or no pee-pees violates natural law and defies common sense.

The true, biblical intent of marriage is to create one from two. A perfect union of mind, body and spirit – achieved ultimately and perfectly through sexual intercourse – that results in the loss of the individuality of two and achieves literally one organism. Or one orgasm (his, of course) as the old yarn goes.

A child needs a mother and a father. True, today’s 50 percent divorce rate has wrought havoc on families and left too many kids lost or acting out for the lack of both. But the ambition for utopian childrearing is made complete under the guidance and protection of mom and dad.

So what’s the big deal? Why not live and let live? What business does government have meddling around in the bedroom?

Redefining marriage to include same-sex couples cheapens the sanctity of the sacrament. A common kvetch of the LGBT community is: If two people love each other and are committed to each other why shouldn’t they be allowed to marry? Well, a father can really love and care for and be committed to his daughter. Or son. Or vice-versa. Do you really want to go there? Allowing gays to legally marry is one step down a slippery slope toward allowing relatives to get hitched or farmers to lie with their bovine and file joint tax returns with Bessie.

Government can and should get involved in this matter. Wyoming, along with her conservative friends like Idaho, was the last stand against making us a nation that tolerates everything and anything in the name of equality as long as the minorest of minorities has a beef. It’s why prayer was removed from our local rodeo. Majority didn’t rule. A handful of people offended by the Constitutional rights of others called the shots and removed God from the chutes.

Legalizing gay marriage is a further degradation of a society already compromised and morally broken down by everything from lenient prison sentences and easy parole to filthy television shows that glorify violence and casual sex. Acknowledging homosexual partners have the same legal rights as heterosexuals in marriage imposes acceptance of abnormal behavior on all citizenry and cheapens traditional marriage.

Politicians are too scared now to take a stand. The issue is polarizing and in the interest of not jeopardizing any potential votes, they kowtow to marches and sit-ins. Even hardcore Republicans sometimes claim to have seen the light when a family member “turns” gay. Sen. Rob Portman, R-Ohio, was one legislator who had such a transformation when his son came out and admitted he was gay. What if Portman’s son had revealed a heroin addiction? Are we going to legalize smack?

Mead caved. Wyoming fell. And the country’s tagline, “one nation under God,” is made more and more completely meaningless.

PROPSFistbumpLodging tax: Their 2 cents 

Opponents of the bed tax, and there aren’t many, claim the valley does not need self-promotion. In fact, according to those against the tax, marketing Jackson Hole will only bring more of the headaches that come with tourism: traffic, low-paying jobs that exacerbate the lack of workforce housing, and traffic. Yeah, traffic was mentioned twice.

But old school naysayers have to remember this is a newfangled two percent tourist tariff. The funds generated come back to the county in better numbers – a third is designated for impact mitigation. START Bus is funded, streets are repaired and garbage is picked up with the money left by travelers. It’s dough Robin Hooded from the poor vacationer and paid to the rich valley dwellers. It’s money that would not have been available otherwise.

And promotion of Jackson Hole is always necessary. Billboard Bedouins unmotivated to pack their bags for the Hole will make for rival resort towns with their platinum cards. That’s money out of our coffers; sales tax taking winged flight to Colorado and Utah.

Officials hawking the lodging levy the other night said they couldn’t think of a single downside to the “tax you don’t pay.” That’s not entirely true. The Travel & Tourism Board has tried to use the revenue to generate shoulder season interest to “meh” interest so far. SHIFT isn’t exactly setting the Rocky Mountain region on fire. Beefing up interest in May and October is a waste of money. Kids are in school and it can be snowing like a bitch in either of those months.

Traffic is not a byproduct of the lodging tax. Summer road-cloggers are just as likely to be a gravel truck, followed by a lawn care pickup pulling a trailer, followed by a third homeowner driving a Lexus that’s garaged for 11 months out of the year. But it is a bit naïve for TTB’s chairwoman Kate Sollitt to say the tax has no effect on the county’s housing struggles. More tourists, more t-shirts, more cashiers. Without question the ramifications of an increase in visitors is a corresponding increase in the peons that wait on them. Still, skimming a little off the top with a duty aimed fairly efficiently at passing customers of the county is a $4.5 million no-brainer.

About Jake Nichols

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