Words, Thoughts and You

By on July 11, 2018

The way we treat and talk to ourselves shapes our future

JACKSON HOLE, WY – “If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” – Jack Kornfield


Compassion is a state of mind—a state of feeling and a state of being which views life through the lens of the heart and in so doing, removes judgment. Compassion is not about condoning hurtful behavior, nor is it about pity or trying to fix anyone. Compassion is an expression of deep caring that is spacious and allowing. It is an openhearted state of being which allows us to see beyond the surface, to let go of automatic emotional responses and personal bias. This is how we come to know the following greater truth: Everyone is doing the best they can in that moment given who they are and what they are facing.

Self-compassion is approaching whatever is going on for you with spaciousness and kindness. This state of being removes the harshness of self-criticism, and only with that out of the way, is the stage set for any appropriate and timely self-improvement. When you extend compassion to yourself, the heart tells the brain to release the biochemistry of well-being. This includes maximum immune support, emotional balance and mental clarity. All these elements reset the body and the mind, promoting healing and the ability to be in the present coming from the expansion for love rather than from the contraction of fear.


Selfish, Selfless and Self-full

“In a society that profits on self-doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act.” – Caroline Caldwell


Many people mistakenly think loving oneself is an expression of selfishness. Selfish is the inability to consider anyone else other than oneself. Selfless is the inability to consider your needs or to include oneself. Self-full is a made up word to describe the balance between those two extremes. It is the awareness that taking care of yourself fills your cup, and that is precisely what enables you to more authentically and generously extend support to others.

Here’s a simple exercise to experience being self-full. Take a few minutes to sit quietly, close your eyes, take a few deep, slow breaths. Now focus your awareness on your own physical heart. Hang out in your heart for a half dozen more breaths. Slowly bring to mind, one at a time, three attributes/qualities about yourself that you love and respect. Pause as you bring each one of these into your awareness. Savor each one and let yourself feel the truth of this self-recognition and appreciation as it flows through your entire body. Then gently open your eyes.


You Believe What You Tell Yourself

“Our own worst enemy cannot harm us as much as our unwise thoughts. No one can help us as much as our own compassionate thoughts.” – Buddha


Scientists estimate we have between 50,000 and 70,000 thoughts a day. The sobering fact is 70 to 80 percent of our thoughts are negative ones, and they are toxic.

Every time you use the words “I am” you are literally instructing yourself to think, believe, and feel a certain way.  You are telling your subconscious mind what to filter out and disallow, and what to let into your awareness.  You are commanding the Universe to form an outer reality that matches your declaration.

From now on, practice being mindful of the word you say after “I am” statements. You believe what you tell yourself, and your words instruct the Universe to match your beliefs by bringing more of the same into your experience. Talk to yourself like you are talking to someone you love.

And as Dr. Steve Maraboli teaches, “Love yourself enough to take the actions required for your happiness. Love yourself enough to cut yourself loose from the ties of the drama-filled past. Love yourself enough to move on.”

About Carol Mann

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