Fast, Deep Connections Demand Slow Thought

By on July 25, 2018

Not every soulmate you encounter is meant to stay in your life forever

Q: “Your advice, please. I am married, don’t have children, and I think I just met my soulmate at my new job.”


A: Crossing paths with someone whose soul resonates deeply with yours is an unmistakable, blissful experience. However, though the connection is undeniably strong, it is not the best to drop your current life and run off together—at least not that fast. Even if you were currently single, I would give you the same advice: not so fast. Sometimes, when two soulmates cross paths it is meant to be fleeting, and that is all it needs to be.

The deeper purpose of such a soulmate encounter is to awaken something important within you, just as your presence can do the same for the other person. We’re talking here about the effect of someone’s soul energy on your evolution, not about what kind of relationship the mind jumps to create. The energy of a resonant soul is something like a cosmic booster shot. It does not need to be put into a form. Here are three possible benefits for your personal growth, just because you met.

  1. The energy exchange in this meeting opens your heart and can upgrade your life.
  2. You are in need of a blast of inspiration to catalyze your fuller creative expression, and this person’s energy is meant to propel you onward.
  3. This person’s presence reminds you of the kind of life you truly want to live and catalyzes changes …whether you ever spend more than an hour with them.

If you’re intent on making the leap, because you are married there are many things to consider before dropping your current life and running off together. For example, you want to complete whatever you are intending to learn in your current marriage, otherwise you’ll repeat it. Nor do you want to create a karmic mess by acting too impulsively and causing collateral damage. Imagining this new person as the be-all-end-all is just that, your imagination.

Perhaps you can take this as a wake-up call to do some important work within your current relationship. If things are not as you hoped, it is always convenient to find fault in the other person. However, each person contributes to the relationship dance. Are you aware of your part in what’s not working? If you both take responsibility for the discontent and are willing to work on this with professional help, things could decidedly shift. If you decide to stay married, you’ll share an upgraded commitment. If not, you will be more self-aware, and you will have ended the marriage with mindfulness and integrity, in other words: no karmic mess.

Now let’s say you happen to be single when that soulmate appears in your life. You’ll want to take the time—and it indeed takes time—to learn about each other in the here and now. Even with a beautiful soul energy resonance, we can still carry lots of emotional baggage, issues and less than constructive patterns. There are so many kinds of love; it is possible to love someone without opting to marry them. If you’ll be living with this person in everyday life, it is important to know and to respect your deal breakers.

With all the care you will have taken attending to your own growth and getting to know the real people you both are, you’ll determine what kind of relationship is your highest, greatest good. As you set out together, do your best to create a life in which your souls are congruent with who you are in everyday life. This is the eventual goal for all of us.

As the poet Rumi wrote, “Now is the time to unite the soul and the world.”

About Carol Mann

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